Endoscopy Tomorrow
Every other year I go to the hospital for an endoscopy to check for Barrett’s Esophagus and esophageal cancer. Tomorrow is the big day for 2006.
I’m the world’s biggest chicken when it comes to anything medical, so I’m automatically nervous about the whole business. (Though it’s really no big deal, the combination of Demerol and Versed takes care of that. It’s the same for colonoscopies. If you need either of these procedures, by all means do it!)
You may recall that I lost a brother and an uncle to esophageal cancer. That makes me all the more fearful of the procedure. Jeff’s presence will help.
For the first time since I started these endoscopies, I’m feeling a little better about the biopsy part because of my smoking status.
To Susie
I do plan to respond to your astute question, but I’d like to give it some thought first. I think it will be important. Thank you for the encouragement–and the kick in the seat. Both were needed. (Readers, please see Susie’s comment on the 16th.)
October 22nd, 2006 07:02
So, how are you doing, Susan? I read your post from Wed. and a couple of things jump out….
What is your smoking status? I firmly believe that it’s one of those things where either you’re on or your off. Either you’ve quit, which means that smoking is never an option, or you haven’t. Every drag, every cigarette points to the fact that smoking IS an option….you have to dispel that and move on. Trust me….I have been there so many times, I can’t count. One of the hardest things to come to grips with is the term “Never” or “ever”. Once you do and can, the path becomes clearer…trust me. Just take it one day, one craving at a time. You can’t think in terms of the end of time, but in terms of today, tomorrow. One craving, one day at a time, Susan…
Also, please give some thought to posting in the cessation forum (let’s just say that Susie and I are….acquainted!) I have no doubt that your spouse and counselor have the best of intentions, but frankly, until you’ve walked a mile in someone’s shoes…I can guarantee that everyone of us who wrestles with this addiction has been where you are, and have been. There is so much to gain from gaining experience (good and bad) and advice from those who have been on the path to cessation for a while. We’ve seen the good, the bad, and the ugly, but we’ve seen everything that you have and can help.
We’re not ganging up on you…Susie and I post because we care, and know that you want to put this behind you once and for all. But also know that to do so, you must make that commitment to never pick up a cigarette. Your mind will play tricks on you, but at the end of the day, your “smoking status” needs to be one of “ex smoker” that will never smoke again. Once I made that decision, Susan, I did see a glimmer of hope at the end of the tunnel.
Mike