Staying the Course
Day Three
I was stressed and upset last night and dearly desired a cigarette…but didn’t have one. It was Date Night. Because I already had children when Jeff and I married, we established Tuesday as Date Night. Though the kids are all grown now, it’s remained a necessary and eagerly-anticipated event in light of our busy schedules. It’s also a good distraction from smoking.
When we got home from a Date Night dinner out, I putzed around the house to keep my mind off the cigarette I coveted. There’s too much that needs to be done for the holidays for me to disappear into the office and spend hours on the computer planning exciting vacations.
I wish I could get into some kind of holiday spirit that would make the preparations more enjoyable. It was lovely to get an email from my youngest, Aaron, who lives near Seattle. I’d sent some Harry & David holiday cookies to him at work. He always loved the ones I’d bake when he was smaller.
What a Bah Humbug I am this week!
December 18th, 2006 11:54
I think anyone who’s trying to quit smoking deserves a big fat round of applause. I played all kinds of games with myself. For a whole year I made the deal with myself that I would smoke only with my one dear friend who lived two miles away. So when I had the serious jones, I would walk over there no matter what the weather or what time of day. We’d have a great conspiratorial visit, I’d have my fix of three or four cigs and walk home. I’d buy her a pack every other time so I didn’t feel too guilty about it.
Then once I saw a friend at a party and asked if I could bum a cigarette. She said, “Kathleen, do you realize that’s always the first thing you say to me?” I didn’t realize it but after that I bummed fewer cigarettes from people and eventually I did quit. My point is, it’s a really hard thing to do and whatever winding path we have to take to get there short of substituting crack is ok. Especially this time of year, which is dark and gloomy and filled with all kinds of enforced and materialistic cheeriness. Blechhh. I say bah humbug but big kudos for making it through three days of the holiday season without a cig!