The Dickens
I smoked a cigarette this morning. We had just taken our 12-year-old Cocker Spaniel, Dickens, to the vet. There was no hope for the little guy and our concern about his condition and quality of life had reached a panic point as he started hurtling downhill the last few days.
While the shot was being administered, we petted him, spoke to him gently and looked right into his eyes. After he was gone, I just cried for the old pooch. Jeff and I stood outside the vet’s office and hugged. Then we drove to a nearby convenience store where I bought a pack and smoked that cigarette. (Yes, I gave Jeff the pack.)
In a time of distress, it seems I turn to cigarettes. (One cigarette.) I guess that confirms that I’m still psychologically addicted to cigarettes.
Cocker Spaniels
Have you ever seen a Cocker Spaniel puppy? They are the ultimate in classic puppy cuteness. If Norman Rockwell had ever painted a picture of a darling tot lifting a puppy out of a stocking on Christmas morning, he would have painted a blond Cocker puppy like our Dickens.
Unfortunately, we unwittingly got Dickens from a puppy mill and he had every health problem that runs in the breed. We’re actually lucky we had him this long. Last fall, our vet identified a heart murmur and by today the old pup’s ticker just wasn’t working well at all. Last night, he wasn’t able to get around much and was slightly disoriented. When I got up this morning, I had trouble waking him. Oh…enough!
Dickens was the most intelligent dog I’ve ever owned. He also was the most alpha– Jeff and I both have scars from little Dickens teeth. Dickens became more sweet and dear as he grew older. We’ll miss him a lot.
I’ve been feeling teary and tired all day. And I want another cigarette.
March 23rd, 2007 01:51
You’ve touched on the primary responsibility of pet ownership; the care and comfort of an old friend. It’s an act of love and respect.
Been there, done it, hated it. But couldn’t allow the suffering to continue.
My heart goes out to you and Jeff. Sorry for your loss.
March 23rd, 2007 10:53
As painful as it was, Norm, we didn’t doubt our decision. I really like your reminder about caring and comforting an old friend–a perfect description of how we felt.
I was also struck by the fact that we can make this important act of compassion happen for animals, but not humans. (Although I believe euthanasia should be subject to strict criteria so the eugenicists can’t abuse the right.)