Quit Tales
On October 6, I posted part of an email message from my friend who is determined to kick the habit. She and I’ve been keeping each other up to date on our progress; she sent the following email this morning:
Hi Sue,
We had a bit of a disaster at the house with our newly installed $6,000 furnace this weekend. I got back from visiting the grandchildren on Friday afternoon and noticed that the house was at about 59 degrees, so I went downstairs to fill the furnace with water. The furnace kicked on and the house was warming up and Mike and I were discussing the events of the day. He then decided to take a shower in his basement bathroom and saw water spewing out of the furnace and leaking all over the floor, at which point I realized that the furnace accidentally got over-filled since I didn’t lock up the ball lever.
To make a long story short, there was confusion, yelling, and running in circles, and calls to a friend to help us figure out how to shut our water off and to the emergency number of our furnace company to take care of the mess I created.
Two hours later fairly bedraggled, cold and wet, all was calm and fixed but I was a wreck and cracked under the pressure and had a whole cigarette in the midst of the crisis. Of course, it was only water and it wasn’t a big deal as it turned out, but this is when I turned to my usual comfort to calm me down. My biggest challenge is learning how to handle serious stress and situations that are out of my control, especially since Mike always has a pack at the ready and usually a lit cigarette in hand.
The good news is that I do believe I have successfully tackled the nicotine addiction part, but the act of smoking “the crutch”, is still lingering in my head. The cigarette did not taste good (in part because it was menthol), and I barely inhaled, but it is the act that I miss. So I cracked once prior to my two week anniversary this last Sunday. I have forgiven myself and I am intent in my resolve to quit for good and I will.
I admire this friend for a number of reasons–not the least of which is quitting smoking while living with a husband who’s less than helpful.
This friend and I seem to be in the same place–we’ve tackled the nicotine addiction but we’re still dealing with what’s in our heads. I do relate that she finds menthol cigarettes less-than-appealing.
When I was in high school, there would always be a group of girls in the restroom between classes–passing a cigarette around. Invariably that cigarette was menthol and had been hotboxed so that the inch-long tip was hotter than hot and the whole thing smelled and tasted raunchy. Yeecch! And I continued smoking?!!
